Pet Diaries

My diary for most days: up at 4 or 5 to eat my breakfast, which is never enough. Mom and Dad let me in their bed for a bit so they can warm up and wake up. Then they get up, and eat their breakfast -- I wonder what is in their bowls and wonder about that white liquid they pour on ...

Sometimes when Mom is making lunch I get some green pepper, tomato, or whatever. Mmmmmm veggies! Then I get my bone with peanut butter -- my PB bone -- and get to sleep and chew and rip my blanket for 9 hours or so. Mom and Dad return, we go out and I poop and hit the beach or the dog park. Then I eat dinner, snuggle on the couch, and go to bed for the night after lots of walks and fun playtimes.

This diary is a funny collection from another dog. I totally understand him. The other is from a cat, I don't quite know what is going on.

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the
stairs.? In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try
this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.